Reality of the situation

I took Zoë to the pediatrician today. The nice nurse asked me how I was doing (wrong question this week) and I said "God, I'm exhausted. I really don't remember being this tired last time around.."

She looks at me and goes "Of course you don't! If you did, no one would ever have more than one kid!"

Duh.

This one's lucky she's so damn cute.

Goals

I pretty much had one goal today - to take a shower.

Yea. Don't get to close, I'm afraid that I smell like 3-day old spoiled milk.

Maybe tomorrow.

Thankful

I underestimated you all a bit. You don't just come around for pictures of the kids, but you all actually care about me also.. hahaha.

Thank you all for asking in my comments about how I am doing. In the world of a newborn the mom is often forgotten as all anyone wants to do is coo over the latest addition. Which is totally understandable since she is SO FREAKING ADORABLE and I'm.. well, a huge mess! The first weeks.. months(?) postpartum are really a mixed bag. On one side you are thrilled with the baby and over the moon with the little feet and hands and tiny, itsy clothes. On the other side of the coin you have, well,  YOU. Your deflated tire belly hanging over your new incision (thank you c-section), recovery from birth, being pregnant and if you are lucky like me - major abdominal surgery, and hormones. Oh, the lovely hormones. Gotta love 'em. Oh, and if you are neurotic and insane like me, the intense need to try and fit into normal clothes and the desire to not look 4 months pregnant and the sheer inability to just relax and be okay with in the fact that I just gave birth.

Yes, it's an interesting time in a woman's life...

I will say that it does seem harder this time around. And yes, I know that this time I have a 3 1/2 year old and YES, I realize that I'm also 3 1/2 years older than last time I did this. But last time definitely was different. I think there is nothing like having your first baby. Everything is new and wonderful and the "babymoon" period seems to last a lot longer - with your spouse and family fawning over you for weeks and weeks. The second time around real life kicks in a bit faster. People go back to work quicker, life for your older child needs to continue on and people just assume you are old pro's at this and that you don't need as much support - mentally and physically. People don't check in on you as often and you are kinda left hanging there, figuring it all out again. Figuring it all out in a state of pure exhaustion. Which, by the way, is WAY worse the 2nd time.

But then you have this:

And this:

and you forget your sore, bleeding nipples and layer of flab around your belly and you are amazingly thankful for everything you have.

Caricature of Myself

I keep coming here to write something. Something witty, something poignant, something that will give unique insight into parenting or infants. But honestly, it's all been said before.

While trying to have a meaningful discussion with Jason about last week's 2-part Oprah featuring a woman who hoarded so much junk in her house that it took 3 months to clean out and in the end she had over 3,000 shoes and 3,000 purses, while being unshowered and in the same sweat suit (hey, at least it was a Juicy Suit) for the past 3 days, Jason turned to me and said "You realize you are pretty much a caricature of of a stay at home mom right now.."

Yea, I get it. I can sit here and go on and on about the wonderfulness of a new baby, the challenges of having 2 kids and bitch and moan about sleep deprivation, but really, that's all be said and done. It's nothing new. You don't want to hear it.

Let's be honest - you just came for the latest pictures.

40 Weeks Later..

40 weeks have gone by since I got that big fat positive pregnancy test. 40 weeks of joy, excitement, first kicks, and indigestion. I bitched and moaned there for weeks about how this would never end.. and now it has. And already the pregnancy seems like a distant memory.

Already, the feeling of her little kicks and hiccups emanating from within me are fading. I no longer remember how uncomfortable I was and the discomforts that I complained about daily. Or maybe it's just that I don't have time to sit and try to conjure up these memories at the moment, because about a week and half ago, I become a mother of 2.

This week has flown by in a wave of hormones and exhaustion. I keep having to remind myself (and others) that not only do we have an infant, but I'm also recovering from abdominal surgery. Oh yea, and we also thought it would be a good idea that we all get flu shots last week.. good in concept - bad in actual reality when 3 members of the family, including the one recovering from child birth, all feel funky.

Zoë is a fabulous baby thus far. Yes, we are tired (as to be expected), but not necessarily from lack of sleep at night. Zoë has been granting us 3-4 hour blocks of sleep. Sleep that we savor and need just to get through the day of dealing with an adjusting 3 1/2 year old and an itsy bitsy infant.

Our friends and my family have been wonderful this week. My mom was here helping this week and we've had a stream of friends bringing food, wine, presents and oohing and ahhing over the unbearable cuteness of Princess Peanut Buttercup.

Tomorrow a new challenge awaits me. My first day home, totally alone, with Lucas and the baby. Oh, and since I'm not supposed to drive my car until Thursday - we will be HOME. All day. If I have one thing in common with Brittany Spears, it's that I just can't stand to stay home.

Tomorrow also seems as this new milestone for me - tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. How cliche, I know. But really, tomorrow and the days that follow starts how our life is now. No more people coming to stay and help, Jason back to work... real life. Real life as a parent to 2 kids. And while technically I'm still in recovery, starting tomorrow I need to start getting my routine in place and figuring this whole 2 child thing out.

You know, the most important part of the whole thing that I never really thought of during the past 40 weeks...