7 Amazingly Stupid Bathing Suits for 2013

Between a few spa days at La Costa and a beautiful 4-day weekend with temps in the 80's, I've actually found myself in a bathing suit a few times over the past month. Since my go-to, number one black Juicy Couture bathing suit that I've lived in for the past 3 years has finally given up on me, I've found myself cruising the internet for my next great suit.

Being that I was raised in Southern California, and that from ages 5 to 18 I was a competitive swimmer, I like to think I know a few things about what makes a good and flattering suit. Over the years I have learned that (against all logic) February and March are the best times to buy swim wear -  the main reason being availability. If you wait until July, all the good suits are gone and you are left with slim pickings. 

But as I'm wandering the net looking for a suit that will accentuate my legs while hiding my tummy, be good for the beach and pool, and cute and attractive while not being a total "mom suit" I came across a few suits that blew my mind with ugliness. 

7 Amazingly Stupid Bathing Suits for 2013 by hipmamab featuring mara hoffman

At first glance, I would say these designers have never been near a beach or pool in their life. But more than that, some of these suits are unattractive on the MODELS. And if a 6 ft tall 110 lb waif can't rock it, who can?! From unflattering cut outs to fake grass skirts to the Empire State Building erupting out of your coochie, I cannot believe that these suits got made. Puffy sleeves on a one piece? DAISY DUKES? A romper? These suits made me laugh while simultaneously question the sanity of the designers, and the buyers of the stores selling these $100+ creations.