iPhood: Smashburger my 5,000 calorie lunch of dreams

Some of the girls in the office were talking about burgers and an event...I was half listening/half trying not eavesdrop, but then something lured me into the conversation... something about "butter and smashing the burger" and "crispy fried butter burger." My ears perked up, my mouth started to salivate...

They were chatting about the new Smashburger that opened the night before at Hazard Center. Then the magical words "We're going back for lunch today - wanna come?" I replied that they had me at "crispy butter burger."

MEAT

I got the basic All American burger. Smashed and fried to perfection, this was a greasy delicious mess of a burger - just how I like them. I know the trend is towards "grass fed" beef, but those burgers lose that juicy ooze when you bite into them.

This burger was spot-on for me. It didn't fall apart after one bite, but you still shoveled it in your mouth as fast as possible for fear of disintegration or just because it tastes so freaking good. 

Seriously had a Fat Bastard moment where I wanted to look at the burger and scream at the top of my lungs: "GET IN MA BELL-AY!"

It was so good, I forgot to take a picture of it until I was almost half-way done. 

 Pickle me this...

I've talked about pickle fries before. While I love me some fried potatoes, there is something almost sinful about deep frying pickles. They've (unfortunately for my thighs) become one of those items that when I see on a menu I must order. 

Hey, I did it for you guys! (sure...)

While not as amazing at the pickle fries from Corvette Diner, these babies were crispy and crunchy and a great side to the burger.

Shake it up baby, now.

And just because the butter smashed fried burger and deep fried pickles were not enough to make me unbutton the top of my pants, I topped this entire, decadent meal off with a Lime Milkshake. 

Yup, LIME MILKSHAKE.

Before you squeal and declare my taste-buds deformed, think of a key lime pie in a glass. Creamy, sweet and tart, I may go back to Smashburger for this shake alone. 

 Maybe it was the sugar high. Blame it on the deep fried overload. But heading back to work I noticed 2 little heads peeking up from the top of the dumpster in back of the office. Much to the HORROR of my co-workers Carrie and Jennifer, I reached in and rescued from dumpster despair two of the creepiest, crazy little Mexican Mariachi statues and gave them a new home in the back of the office.

My contract may be up at the end of the month, but my legacy will live on...