Follow your nose, it always knows!

I'm sitting here watching Glee, in which Rachel, faced with the confirmation of a deviated septum, is offered the option of getting a nose job. And I'm here to tell you that given the opportunity in high school, I would have gotten a nose job.

People take one look at me and immediately assume that I'm Jewish, or have Jewish roots. My maiden name is Pesacov, and yes, for 36 years I have rocked the "Pesacov Schnoz." One time, during my junior year of high school swim season, during a particularly rowdy co-ed game of Marco Polo that involved picking up bathing suit clad (and possibly half drunk on Zima - sorry, Mom and Dad) girls, my face was smashed against a fellow (male) teammate's shoulder. Despite the shooting pain and the tears that always appear when your nose has been planted against a hard object, my first thought was "OH HELL YEAH. I finally REALLY broke my nose and insurance will pay for a nose-job."

Before this incident I had already been to my doctor at least three times, insisting I had breathing and snoring problems and declaring I just MUST have a deviated septum. MUST. Alas, I apparently didn't. And even after banging it straight into Scott Harris' shoulder in 11th grade, I never managed to break it. To this day, I HATE people saying "But your nose is so YOU - you wouldn't be YOU without it!" I know in some way they are trying to be nice... but deep inside I hope that if I had the bump a little filed down or the "hook" turned up a bit, I would still be ME. The same snarky/anxiety ridden/lovable Beth. Just with a better nose.

"This nose is a sign of our people" - Puck

Yes, half of my ancestry is is Jewish. I wear my nose on a daily basis as a reminder of this. People look at my Dad and say "Oh, yeah, that's your daughter." And at my Grandma's 90th birthday 4 years ago, my cousins, with whom I have little to no relationship due to living on opposite coasts, could look across the table and say "Yup - we're related." Interestingly, none of us had had our noses fixed. As the conversation lead to our mutual attribute, we all realized we've accepted it. Whatever stopped us from really going through with it at some point in our lives, we have all lived 30+ years with this feature. My prom pictures, my college graduation, my WEDDING pictures; They all featured MY nose.

When my cousin turned to me and asked if it was still something I thought about changing, my response was honest. At this age, I would much rather spend the money getting my entire torso (boobs through c/s scars) done.

But as I look at my kids, I wonder what their noses will be like. Will they be lucky enough to have some strange 3rd generation gene that graces them with a perfect facial appendage? Or will they inherit the Pesacov Schnoz and come to me crying at 16, cursing their Jewish heritage and begging me to do something about it? I got through it, why can't they? Then again my mom walked uphill in the snow to school, and moving to California ensured that her children would never endure that particular hell. Will I let my children change something about them that they hate, or encourage them to be them regardless...knowing that this thought is slightly hypocritical?

Spa La Costa and the SDMOMfia's Spa Social

Friday night was the event we SDMOMfia Mamas have been planning for months...200 women lounging in robes and bathing suits, enjoying drinks, food and a beautiful spring night at Spa La Costa at the La Costa Resort. 

I kept an eye on the weather all week. Two weeks before it was raining. The week before it was chilly. But by Wednesday of event week the sun was shining, the sky was blue and temps were climbing. And by Friday? Pure. Weather. Perfection. 

Now there is La Costa Resort and then there is the Spa La Costa. The resort, which is finishing up a major renovation, is one of my favorite recommendations for people to stay when they come to visit us - especially with kids. The grounds are stunning, the newly remodeled rooms are fantastic and the pools are beautiful. Honestly, when I need to mentally go to my happy place, it's poolside at La Costa on an 80 degree day with a fruity drink in my hand. 

But the Spa...the spa is on a different level. It's in a different area of the property than the main pools, making it secluded and quiet...unless you have about 200 of your closest blogging/twittering/facebook ladies sipping champagne, and munching on sliders and lobster sandwiches... 

Regardless, my obsession with Spa La Costa is known. So when the Spa La Costa team came to the SDMOMfia a few months back and said they wanted to host us for a fabulous event, it was hard to contain our excitement. Remember going on a first date, being so excited about it that you're worried that you look desperate? Yeah. We honestly were so excited about this event that we had to check ourselves a few times. And just like a good first date, the more we met with them, the more we talked to them, the more we LOVED them. After 12 years of marketing, PR and events, I have to say that I have NEVER had a more enjoyable work experience than dealing with the people at La Costa. 

At first, the Spa Social event was going to be an intimate event with about 50 people. When that "sold out" in a day, we went back and asked about making the event a little bigger. La Costa was thrilled and we upped the number to 100. When those tickets were gone the next week, we sat down and re-evaluated once again.... next thing we knew we had 200 ladies RSVP'ed and even a few more on a waiting list. 

The event itself went off amazingly. A bunch of people won prizes ranging from a weekend at Rancho Las Palmas (a sister resort in Palm Desert) to Starbucks gift cards to passes to Legoland. We even raised money for a local non-profit, Home Start, with their Quarters Count initiative, helping them get a little closer to reaching their goal of raising $1million to help prevent child abuse in San Diego. And while the intention was just a wonderful relaxing evening that introduced all the fabulous new spa treatments and the remodeled spa area, the night turned into so much more.... 

Theresa, Stefanie and I have been working our booties off to make the SDMOMfia something different, something fabulous and new. A network of women that blog, that tweet, that facebook or that are just amazing MOMS...and Friday night was a perfect example of how our hard work and dedication is coming together...and creating something wonderful. 

And yes, now it's time for a group hug and a round of Kum-ba-ya.  

Jessica + Elizabeth = 4Ever

1984: I was 10 years old. I loved dolphins and Barbies and spent hours wishing that I was 16, drove a red Fiat, and that my identical twin, somehow separated from me at birth and that my parents denied having (hey, I saw The Parent Trap! If it could happen to Hayley Mills it could happen to me!) would show up.

Giving credit where credit is due, Francine Pascal inspired a love of reading for me. While I was (obviously) reading before I discovered the Sweet Valley High series, I have this distinct memory of laying on the bottom bunk of my knotty pine bed-set wearing polyester dolphin shorts and not wanting to do anything but read about the lives of these idyllic twin girls in this fictional town that sounded, like, WAYYYYY better than the VALLEY. 

While we didn't have matching lavaliere necklaces, Annie, Debbie and I shared a 3-way best friend charm and and an obsession for these books. We traded older copies back and forth as we waited for book #5 or #6 (out of what turned into a 150+ book series) to be published and dreamed of being cheerleaders, dating and having our own phone lines. 

Then? We grew up. SVH was traded in for Flowers in the Attic (a series to this day I chastise my mom for letting me read), Stephen King and even Clan of the Cave Bear (on another note, a new book in that series was also released last week). Dreams of being a teenager were replaced by the reality of being a teenager and by the time I turned 16 the only car I wanted to drive was a convertible VW Rabbit. 

Last week, Francine Pascal re-ignited the 9 year old girl in all of us with the release Sweet Valley Confidential. Jessica and Elizabeth, "10 years later." And while it's fuzzy math on that 10 years (yet it's modern day in the book; they Facebook and Twitter and use their iPods, yet they are only 27) "something has torn the twins apart and they are no longer speaking!" Well, duh. Of course it's that Jessica did something horrible to her "4-minute older" big sister and for the first time, Elizabeth stood up for herself. Didn't we all see this coming in 1986?

Let's be honest here. This book is no literary work of genius. This isn't an epic Freedom-esque tome in which Elizabeth delves deep inside her soul to see that she has settled for less than she dreamed. This is Sweet Valley High as we all remember it. Remember how each of the books always used the same lines to describe things like the Wakefield's house, the Twins' good looks, the restaurant they always went to eat at? All those phrases are back... but instead of being annoyed, I was relieved and almost comforted by the memory of these words.

The story is what you would expect. No more, no less. But it was perfect for what it was: nostalgia. In fact, i think this book was just Francine Pascal's excuse to finally let Jessica and Elizabeth swear, drink and have sex. As my friend Annie (now Ann) so eloquently put it, they "turned into us." 

Yes, just like us, Jessica and Elizabeth have also grown up. 

The Trust Factor

As many of you know, I have an interesting perspective on the whole marketing-to-bloggers thing. Being a PR/Marketing person by trade, I straddle the fence and can truly understand both sides of the coin. {Apparently I can also write sentences that contain multiple cliches - now that's talent!} I can see why brands and companies want to align themselves with bloggers, engage with bloggers and work with them.  And being a blogger, I can tell you that it's really exciting when you are pitched to review a product or attend an event put on by a cool brand. 

A few weekends ago I had the opportunity to attend Bloggy Boot Camp in San Diego. For those of you not familiar with this conference, it's a one-day symposium aimed at helping female bloggers learn more about blogging, refine techniques and gain new ideas to reach their maximum potential. One of the points of topic that left me thinking was the concept of the Trust Factor: do you trust bloggers' opinions?

As the popularity of my other site, the SDMOMfia, continues to grow, this is something I've been thinking more and more about. Right out of the gates, we attracted the attention of local businesses and large brands. I won't lie - it's extremely flattering. When you get an email from a restaurant you love, a gym you've been wanting to try, a spa that wants to treat you to a free massage, you go for it.

But here's the thing. The PR person representing the brand sought you out because they feel that you fit the criteria of their "ideal customer." And since you are a person they want to impress, the experience on a whole is probably better than it would it be for the average Joe on the street. As a senior PR pro, with 12 years of experience (including having the world's largest producer of consumer electronics as a client), I can tell you that the PR person has two goals. The first: to make their clients look good. The second: to impress you.

Does this mean that the bloggers are not being honest in their reviews? Not at all. What it means is that we were wine and dined; all the stops were pulled out. If anything, we are posting an honest reaction to what may be an above average interaction. It's like having people over for dinner. You straighten the house, use the "good china," trade in your sweats for jeans and prepare food that is probably a little higher brow than what you normally would serve. Basically, you're not serving the Kraft Mac 'n Cheese off paper plates. And it's not just bloggers that get this treatment. This is the same treatment professional journalists have been recieving for years. You don't think that when Auto Week reviews the new BMW they send out the base model - no, the reviewer gets the top of the line version with all the bells and whistles. Same with food reviewers.... they are given the best bottle of wine to compliment the meal, they are given multiple dishes to taste and the every item on that plate is perfectly arranged. 

Being in the realm of "mommy bloggers" means that brands and businesses want to reach out to me, and they want me to experience what they have to offer. In return they hope I write about them and tweet about them, thus encouraging others to experience them also. We are a voice - the voice of the main household purchaser, the main decision maker (sorry guys!). But when are we, as bloggers, crossing the line of trust with our readers? At what point do our words mean less because it's unclear if we are just saying what the PR people want to hear or if we really feel a particular way?

It's a very fine line. And one that I hope I don't cross. As a blogger, recently I've had the chance to do some really fun things. I've had free lunches, met interesting people and even gotten new hair. But I do strive to always be open and honest. If I write about something, it's because it's sparked something inside me. I aim to write about things I bought and paid for myself and places that I discovered on my own, as well as the ones I am asked to review. Yes, you will see things that were pitched to me, but I also hope that you know me well enough to trust I'm being honest. Because this is my reputation, both as a blogger and as a professional, and this is my person that I put down for the world to see, and while I may not share every thought that goes through my head, the ones I do share are true. 

A big criticism of bloggers is that we are not trained journalists - most have no education on the ethics of journalism - and we just give positive reviews to get more free things. And yes, that may be the case with some bloggers. Some bloggers have opted to not even do reviews to not tinker with the trust of their readers. But for those of us that do, how does blogger create honest trust with their readers? And as a reader, what builds your trust in the blogs that you read? 

Hair down to there

Photo from Petula Pea PhotographySo, just in case you didn't know this about me, I obsess. Yes, yes, I know it's a surprise for all of you, but when I get something in my head, I obsess about it non-stop. A few months ago my hairstylist at Detour Salon in Encinitas showed me the hair extensions that she was getting put in later that week. I was intrigued. I thought extensions were only for Paris Hilton and the Real Housewives. But then she started pointing out all the other girls in the salon that had them in...and I began to obsess. See, I love trying out new beauty trends. I've done spray tans, sugaring, waxing, eyelash extensions, Latisse, Shellac nails and a crackle pedicure...anything that can make something longer, fuller, shiny/bright and/or 10 lbs skinner I have tried. 

Yes, I am a product/service whore like that.

So extensions?! I NEEDED them. 

As luck would have it, a few weeks later a woman who had seen me speak at the San Diego Social Media Symposium came to me asking if we would be interested in doing a SDMOMfia Blow Out Bootcamp event at Detour Salon. Little did she know that I had been a client (and huge fan) of the salon for the past 4 years - and I jumped on it! I mean who DOESN'T want to learn how to get those Victoria's Secret Supermodel curls? After chatting back and forth, they asked if I would be interested in modeling and trying out hair extensions - they would put them in for me that night and I could model the new procedure during the event. I was thrilled...I may finally have the long, thick hair that I've spent years, and possibly thousands of dollars in products, trying to achieve. 

I've had them in for 1 1/2 weeks now and I can tell you that I love them. I'm thrilled with not only the length but the thickness of "my hair." But I have gotten a few questions that I thought I would answer:

 - How did they put them in?

Unlike the individual extensions that you always see half grown out on Brittany Spears, these ones are a band of hair that is sewn into my hair about 1/2 way down the back of my head. They use my real hair to sew the band on, and then a tiny metal clap is used to secure the hair.

Did it hurt?

No - but I will let you know that I have an abnormally high tolerance to head/hair pain. I always joke that my head was desensitized after years of having to have massive tangles combed out of the back of my head. 

Is it human hair?
Yes - from Europe. But it has gone through a huge process to clean it and sanitize it. Here is more information on the actual extensions: www.nxshair.com

Can you wash it and brush it as normal?

Yes. I wash it in the shower with my normal shampoo. I'm just careful when washing it.  When I brush it, I have to use a boar's hair brush. 

Does it itch?
A little. Not enough that I would get them removed. And let's be honest, I'm not sure if it's the extensions that itch or the constant talk of head lice being found at Lucas' school that's causing my head to tingle.

How long does it last?
According to the information on the hair, the piece will last 4-6 months. I do have to go in every 4-6 weeks to get it tightened. 

 Will it ruin my hair?
I really hope not. :) I've been told no. The clamps are not permanent and can be removed without damaging the hair. Which is why they can remove the piece and tighten it.

Final Thoughts:

I will admit that that I was worried about it. For about a week, NOT ONE PERSON mentioned it. While on one hand I thought it meant it looked totally natural, the paranoia in me took over and I kept thinking that it looked really bad/fake and no one wanted to tell me that it looked like I had plastic Barbie hair. Not to mention that Zoe kept stroking it while singing songs from Tangled...I was getting a little nervous. Then it happened - someone commented on how long my hair had gotten, then a few more people noted about how beautiful and thick my hair is. And now? I'm hooked. And tossing my head around a lot. 

*If you would like to see what all the other SDMOMfia Mama's said about Blow Dry Boot Camp at Detour Salon, please check out the post here. If you want to join the MOMfia at one of our fun events, "like" us on Facebook and keep an eye out for our next great event!