Ode to my 3rd Trimester

(Sung to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's Sounds of Silence)

Hello exhaustion my old friend... guess you'll be with me until the end. I see you creeping into my busy days. Holding tight until on the bed I lay. And the vision that was planted in my brain, of my day, can not remain. Due to my lack.. of energy.

Out the window my plans fly, and on my mushy couch I lie. Thinking of all things I must get done, thinking of the errands that I swore I'd run. And the day continues by in a half awake haze, and there I lay. Due to my lack... of energy.

The laundry's piled around the floor, 100 pieces maybe more. And the dirty dishes in the sink, are begging to be washed because they stink. My third trimester is kicking me in my ass, but this to shall pass.. but right now, I have no energy.

People look at me and grin.. smile politely to my chagrin, they remember what these days are like, just tease me of upcoming sleepless nights, which makes me want to run away and scream - you know what I mean. But I don't, because I have no energy.

Lucas is testing us right now, making sure that we'll remember how.. how easy our life once was living, before we went and gave him a sibling.. as he just refuses to leave my side and then he cries.. which just adds, to my lack of energy.

But I'm excited none the less, a baby girl that I can dress.. In little pink skirts and shoes, I love little boys but a little sick of blue. And our shopping bills go up.. oh, we're so fucked..thanks to my reason, for no energy..

From where an entire generation learned about "tucking"

Silence of the Lambs is EASILY one of the most disturbing movies of our generation, if not, ever made. It took creepy to a whole new level, and introduced us all to a new genre of the sick and twisted - without being a blood and gore chop house movie. After seeing it for the first time, I don't think I slept for weeks. And I'm telling you to THIS DAY I won't go near vans.

Yet somewhere along the way, a generation that was terrorized by Hannibal Lecter and his penchant for brains with a side of kidney beans and nice 'kee-ant-e' has started incorporating lines and scenes from the horrific tale into their daily lives. Really, for the longest time I thought it was only Jason, his ex-roommate Tom and I that would enter into fits of giggles when one of said "PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!" But slowly I learned that I was wrong. The mind-freak of SOTL has invaded us all. The once chill inducing tale that was SO WRONG on SO MANY different levels is now part of our generation's pop culture. As witnessed by scenes like this from Clerks 2:

Honestly, tell me you did not laugh your ass off at that.

We are a sad, demented generation.

The Baby Crocodile

When we first told Lucas that I was pregnant and that there was a baby growing in Mommy's tummy we didn't really expect him to understand what was going on. His response to the situation was to tell us that there was a baby crocodile growing in his tummy, too. Of course we found that adorable.

As the months have rolled on, Lucas has surprised us by continuing the story of the baby crocodile. He will often tell strangers at Barnes and Noble "Mommy has a baby in her belly, and I have a crocodile!" When he was "less than thrilled" to find out that he was getting a sister and not a brother, he went around telling people "Mommy is having a baby girl, but MY baby crocodile is a boy!"

He's even gone so far as to insist that we need to start taking pictures of HIS growing belly... which is really just too cute not to do.

Nesting

So you get pregnant.. you spend the first part of it trying not to tell anyone while also trying not to puke on their shoes... then things move along.. your belly starts popping.. you (maybe) find out the sex..you buy a few things...things are moving along...progressing nicely.. as 16 weeks turns into 22.. which turns into 30.. AND OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY IN 8-10 WEEKS. WHAT?!2 MONTHS?! WHAT?! I CAN SCHEDULE THE REST OF MY DR'S APPTS?! WHAT?!

Yes, the 30 week freak out. The week when things become all too real that in as little as 6 weeks you could possibly be bringing home a healthy baby.

{ Insert anxiety attack here }

Last week, this freak out hit me hard. So hard, I'm just happy that Jason is still talking to me after the week I put him through. All of a sudden things needed to be done and my list was way, way, way too long for me to be comfortable with.

The main issue was that Lucas' current room was going to be Princess Buttercup's room and Lucas was going to get a "big boy room". We've been hyping this for weeks now, and with the last house guest of the summer gone, we needed to just get it done. But if you know me, you KNOW I just can't "get something done" without going a little crazy first. Let's just say that my craziness included a 'custom' paint job, perfectly matched colors to coordinate with the PBK surfer bedding I've been collecting for him for over a year and a closet make-over. Commence what Jason deemed as our family's very own version of Trading Spaces - 2 rooms in 2 days, can we do it?

Oh, did I mention that it was also one of the hottest weekends on record here in San Diego with temps at the coast, and inside our un-air conditioned house, spiking to over 95 with humidity in the 80th percentile (Damn you, Hurricane Dean!). Yes. Lovely.

I realized how hard I really was nesting when I'm awake at midnight, sweating, contemplating the size of my newly developed cankles while painting blue waves on Lucas' wall and scrubbing down the nursery furniture with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

One of my biggest decorating challenges (well, besides hand painting the little wood sea life decorations to hang on Lucas' wall) was doing up a baby girl's room around the blue crib that I HAD to have for Lucas. Don't get me wrong, the crib was great. But how does one incorporate a blue crib into a pink theme? And don't go and tell me that I didn't need to do a pink room. I am ALL about gender specificity when it comes to babies. Girls need pink, boys need blue. And I 'ain't putting my little Princess Buttercup in anything but a pretty pink princess room. Yet, I'm also sometimes rational and realize that I'm not going to run out and buy a new crib when I have a perfectly good one at home.

Especially when I can use that money on other things - like baby girl clothes.

After months of obsessing over this, my mom and I finally chose bedding with blue accents, and I'm really happy to report that it works. Jason was getting a bit concerned that I was going to force him to paint the crib white next weekend, but in all honesty, I think it would be too much white if we did that.

While standing in PBK for about 2 hours a few weeks ago with my mom (the ONLY PERSON in the world that would actually spend 2+ hours contemplating baby bedding with me and for that I love her more than anything) we waffled back and forth on if this really was the look I wanted. But then it was all on sale. And they had the matching bedding for the full sized bed that was going into that room.. and then they had the adorable little toddler pillow case with the palm tree and the boat and BAM. I was sold.

The room transition weekend did a good job of making the whole thing "real" to all of us. The best was when Jason walked out of the pink room, with pink paint all over his hands and looks at me and goes "Oh, shit. We are having another baby."

Yup. Oh, shit. Lord help us all.

Conversations

Do you ever have a conversation with a friend that is so unique that at that very moment you know why you are friends with that person? One of those talks that almost no one else would even "get", but more likely would think you are totally and 100% insane/superficial/need to be committed? I had one of those conversations yesterday with my friend Maria, a conversation that I can't even begin to repeat here because really, there are only 2-3 other people in my life that would even find it amusing and not just think I'm a complete lunatic.

But it made me start thinking about all  the wonderful things about my girl friends. Each one of them is so different and so unique and has such different perspectives on life and situations.  Some I immediately go to for career and work issues, some I go to for parenting issues, some fashion talks and others to relive my youth or try to figure out what is still cool. Each of my girlfriends, whether I talk to them daily/weekly/monthly holds a special place in my heart and life, and I'm truly lucky to have each and everyone of them in my life.